I wrote this story around the time the financial crisis was peaking all over the world. I always thought that as modern society progressed that greed and selfishness would start to fade. How crazy was I!
Western civilization was spinning out of control. Did I want my kids to grow up to want to idolize all these quasi-celebutants that were popping up and getting arrested at every turn? No of course not. However, I am no longer amazed at how often these people eventually self-destruct.
I also felt that self-entitlement was running wild all over the world. The "I want mine, and I want it now," attitude was ridiculous. See Bernie Madoff. What really caught my attention is this 'me me' mentality was not just limited to young people, but baby boomers, gen Xers, etc.
I think that old Mike Douglas movie Falling Down still rings true today where he encountered people caught up in their own world, not giving a crap about anything but themselves. Except the part of course where he goes crazy in the end and starts killing people.
Again my wife thinks this story is a little heavy handed for kids, but I am continually surprised at how much they absorb from it. This story is the third book in my Mannerland trilogy. Yeah I am pretty sure Lord of the Rings has nothing to worry about.
I have mentioned in other blogs that my kids get involved with the writing process. We draw the pictures and put them together with a program from the scrapbook company Creative Memories and get an actual hardcover book sent to us as a keepsake. This has proved so successful in getting my kids into reading that my youngest daughter wrote a great story a few weeks ago on her own. I will post it in the next few days.
As usual if you want the versions with the pictures my kids and I drew email me and I will send you a free copy. Send me an email at
glove6441@rogers.com.
Thanks and enjoy.
Part Three of the Mannerland Trilogy
AUTHOR
Christopher Mackenzie Glover
CHAPTER ONE: HERE WE GO AGAIN
“Are you kidding me, not again?” said the 13 year-old boy sitting on the forest floor. “Who are you? Sir Knows a Lot or super old snobby guy.”
“Well I can see they were right, you are going to be a handful,” said a very tall older man.
“Alright, cut to the chase,” the boy said angrily.
“My name is General Rossidy, I brought you here………”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. You’re gonna make me learn my manners, or help me to stop lying or respect other people more,” replied the boy.
“Well if you will let me finish young Fredrick Hihorss the third. You are in the Land of Me. This is for people have gone beyond bad manners or lying. This place is for those who believe they are somehow the centre of the universe or that others exist just to service them. That…..
Fredrick Hihorss the third cut off General Rossidy again, “Well listen to me old dude. I’ve already been to Mannerland and the Land of Lies. Even that dope Elderan couldn’t get through to me. I easily fooled Nomora Fibbs by lying to him. You’d think a guy who specialized in lying would be better at detecting it. In Mannerland they sent me to the Ill Mannered Jail. That place was cool. I was there for a whole year and my hair didn’t even grow. It was like time didn’t exist. I even made that Mr. Snootee goof cry a few times.”
“Yes I heard,” said the General. “Mr. Snootee had to retire after you left. He went to pieces. We had to send him to live out his days in Geneross City on the beautiful east coast of the Land of Me. Now he spends his days counting seagulls and picking pine cones.”
“So what’s the deal here General Snotsidy?”
“This is the very last stop. If we can’t get through to you here, there’s no hope. Your life will surely be miserable. What goes around comes around in this life. You think everything will always be great because your dad is the owner of the Krazy Kick Cola Empire. Everybody knows you. You’re famous… well famous because of your bad behaviour anyway.”
Fredrick snorted back, “Yeah, they say money can’t buy everything. Well they are dead wrong. My daddy’s money has gotten me out of many scrapes before.”
“I’m not going to sit here and argue with you. You already think you know everything, so what’s the point? We are going to follow the trail that leads around the bottom of Self Centered Mountain, called the Path to Self Entitlement. This isn’t like Mannerland or the Land of Lies.”
“Yeah, how so?” said Fredrick with his smug smile beginning to disappear.
General Rossidy explained, “The Path to Self Entitlement is a scary place. The uh… people that dwell in the Forest of Wotcaneyedu that surrounds the mountain, are not like those that live in Mannerland or the Land of Lies. They’re more like you. Self entitlement means you think you should get your own way, all the time, no matter how it affects others. These people don’t care about you or your daddy’s money.”
“Bring it on! Elderan, Nomora Fibbs, Mr. Snootee, they all failed and you will too.”
“Trust me it’s not me that will fail if I can’t get through to you. Let’s go we shouldn’t keep the, um, people waiting.
General Rossidy and Fredrick headed down the Path to Self Entitlement. Quickly the beautiful trees changed to old dead ones. The brilliant sky changed to a bitter grey. Self Centered Mountain could barely be seen.
“The people we’re going to meet are more like ghosts than anything else. They are caught between this world and the next,” General Rossidy explained.
“The next world?” asked Fredrick.
“Nobody from your world or our worlds knows for sure what the next world is all about. We believe you have to answer for how we treated others when we get there.”
“What do these people want from me?” said Fredrick in a tone that was becoming less harsh.
“Nothing,” said the General. “They just have to tell their story to you.”
“Yeah like what kind of stories?”
“Well, there’s young Michael Meemee. He thought the world revolved around him. His parents did everything for him and never gave him into trouble for anything. They wanted to be his friend instead of his parent. When he was a teenager they bought him a fast car and he bullied other drivers on the road. Well one day………he’ll tell you the rest.”
“Who else?” asked Fredrick. For the first time since he’d been in the Land of Me he showed some interest.
“Brandy Braticus. She was self absorbed and treated her parents terribly even though they did everything to please her. She wanted her friends to do what she wanted all the time. If they didn’t she’d throw a hissy fit and soon they got tired of hanging out with here.”
“What’s the big deal, that doesn’t sound so terrible,” said Fredrick.
General Rossidy just ignored him and continued, “There are adults you will meet too. They lived their lives as if no one else mattered and in the end it left them lonely and bitter. One in particular is Sally Salfiss. Her life was too busy and she worked too much. She got angry easily because she was always tired. Sally felt everyone else didn’t have as much right to enjoy their lives, because her life was somehow harder. She did many selfish things to try and make her family pay attention to her. In the end…….. well again, it’s her story to tell you.”
Up ahead on the path a man floated out of the forest. He had a pasty white, expressionless face. He wore a very nice old fashioned black suit. His black hair was slicked back with some kind of grease on it.
The man approached and spoke in a dead sounding voice, “Another one General? Do you think I have time for this? There’s money to be made don’t you know.”
“You know the deal Joe Luvamself. If you ever want to leave this place and continue your journey to the next world you must tell your story to those we bring. Otherwise you will be cursed to wander these woods for all eternity,” replied General Rossidy.
As Fredrick got close to the man he felt very cold. The chill went right through to his bones and he couldn’t shake it. Fredrick shuddered, he was getting a little freaked out.
General Rossidy looked at Fredrick, but said nothing. Fredrick just had to listen now. Lecturing him was no good anymore.
Joe was about to speak when there were two blinding flashes on the path ahead. When the light died away two figures stood before them. Fredrick recognized them immediately. It was Elderan and Nomora Fibbs.
CHAPTER TWO: A WORLD GONE CRAZY
“My brothers,” shouted General Rossidy. “What are you doing here? Why are you not in your own worlds? Are the problems we talked about last week getting worse?”
Elderan spoke first, “Everything is much worse. My first guess is the real world has gone totally crazy and it’s quickly affecting Mannerland, The Land of Lies and The Land of Me. The Ignorantees are causing problems in Mannerland and now King Pardon has been captured.”
“Nomora, what’s your story?” the General inquired.
“The Land of Lies seems to be dying. Trees will not grow as they are not getting their fertilizer. Very few gobs of lies are falling. When I bring kids for training, they just lie to get through it and don’t care if they learn anything.”
“I too have noticed the power in this world fading a little,” General Rossidy replied. “It has happened before, usually when the real world is going through a dark or bad time. We’ve always known our worlds draw strength from the real world. When bad manners, lies and greed seem to get out of control we suffer a little. It’s up to us to double our efforts and turn things around.”
Elderan glanced at the young boy standing next to General Rossidy.
“General do you realize who you’ve got here?” asked Elderan.
“Yes, by far the worst case the Land of Lies has ever seen,” added Nomora.
“I’m well aware of who this is. Maybe he can help us,” said General Rossidy. “Things happen for a reason that go beyond even our understanding. Maybe there is a purpose for Fredrick being here at this time.”
“I don’t see how. He has to be the most selfish, self-centered, greedy little brat to ever grace our lands,” said Nomora Fibbs.
Elderan spoke again, “I think we all need to all return to Mannerland to try and rescue King Pardon. We need his leadership right now. He’s being held in Queen Rudian’s castle, but my spies don’t know exactly where. He might be difficult to find.”
“Are the Ignorantees still affected by polite words Elderan?” asked General Rossidy.
“Yes, but ever since the episode with Jordan Riplan, they’re pretty careful to guard against it.”
“We’ll have to try to free the King anyway,” said General Rossidy.
“What about this boy? He can’t be part of our rescue,” exclaimed Nomora.
Elderan replied, “We’ll decide what to do with him when we reach Mannerland.”
Fredrick’s over confident attitude was gone. This definitely wasn’t like before and he was caught in the middle of some kind of turmoil on these worlds.
Nomora placed his staff with the gold knob on the ground and closed his eyes. A faint weak portal opened in front of them.
“I can’t keep it open,” said Nomora in a strained voice. “Quick Elderan use your Wand of Good Behaviour to strengthen my portal.”
Elderan pulled a small gnarled stick from his cloak and a beam shot toward the portal and opened it all the way. There was the blinding light, the feeling of floating and whoooshh. The next thing Fredrick knew he was sitting on a pile of moss. In the distance he could see a familiar sight, it was Table Manners Mountain. Elderan, General Rossidy and Nomora Fibbs were sitting on tree stumps talking. Two blonde haired men, Fredrick remembered were called Plezam and Thankoo were standing beside them. Fredrick realized they were watching him.
“What about this boy?” said Nomora.
Elderan replied, “He’ll have to come with us. There isn’t enough power to open another portal.”
Pleezam spoke up, “I checked the Rock of Self Enlightenment earlier today and it’s almost drained.”
“I was afraid that this might happen,” replied General Rossidy. “With the kids that have been coming to the Land of Me lately it’s no wonder. When selfishness, lies and just plain rotten behaviour are out of control in the real world, the rock does not draw as much power. The power must go elsewhere, and I think I know where it’s going.”
“We must disguise ourselves and go to Ignorandom to Queen Rudian’s castle,” said Elderan. “It won’t be easy to find the King, in fact it might be impossible. First we’ll stop at Passdubudda’s cottage get some old robes before we begin our quest along the Twisty River to Ignorandom.”
The group went to Passdubudda’s and picked up some old robes with hoods. Passdubudda shuddered when he saw Fredrick. He was still finding peanut butter in strange places from Fredrick’s visit a few years ago. After a quick lunch they out on the trail.
CHAPTER THREE: THE LAST CHANCE
“Watch out for Purgreedons from the Land of Me,” Thankoo informed the group. “They have been spotted in these woods. Apparently they cut a deal with the Ignorantees to cut down trees and fish the Twisty River. In exchange, they’re providing them with some kind of help. I wonder though. How the heck did they get here from their world?”
“Well they already took all the fish from Lake Greed and chopped down all the big trees in their forest,” General Rossidy said. “No wonder they’ve come here. That’s why the Generites the other people in the Land of Me built Enabler’s Wall. That way the Purgreedons wouldn’t destroy their lands and would begin to look after their own. I think it’s becoming clear what’s going on. They must have found a way into Mannerland.”
After hours of walking the group approached the centre of Ignorandom. As Elderan had suspected, no one even noticed them. The Ignorantees as usual were too busy thinking about themselves. They found the unguarded, and run down Big Ignorant Pig Castle at the centre of the city. Elderan noticed that there seemed to be a lot of activity and many Ignorantees bustling about. They made their way into the Great Stinking Hall. What they saw next shocked most of the group, except General Rossidy.
Everywhere they looked portals were opening and with great strength. Ignorantees were bringing back stunned looking children.
The Ignorantees were carrying black glowing statues in the shape their city’s official mascot. It was an extremely ugly looking pig. Elderan knew the Ignorantees used them to conjure their portals, but that was impossible.
“Elderan,” whispered General Rossidy. “It appears the Ignorantees are able to conjure portals again as I suspected.”
“Yes, and I’m more surprised than anyone. They used to have their own power source called the Stone of Self Indulgence.
Unlike our own Rock of Self Enlightenment that draws positive energy from the real world, it draws negative energy. I thought I had drained it beyond use many years ago. I believe there are too many people who think only of themselves in the real world right now. The stone is feeding off that selfish behaviour somehow and has started working again.”
Fredrick overheard General Rossidy talking to Elderan as he continued to look around. As they made their way further into the castle things became more familiar to Fredrik. I’ve been here before, he thought. When I was a little boy someone brought me here. Since he was so young at the time he thought it was only bad dreams. He remembered a foul smelling man who burped a lot teaching him to be bad.
Just then a portal opened about 30 feet away from them. Out stepped the very same man he was just thinking about. The man gave out the loudest sounding burp he had ever heard. Instantly he remembered his name. With him was a very young girl of about four years old. Fredrick’s eyes grew as large as pancakes. The little girl was his kid sister Norah. She was the one person in the world that he actually liked better than himself. ‘No’ he thought to himself. In that moment Fredrick decided what he must do.
Fredrick drew his cloak back from his head and stepped away from the others. General Rossidy moved slightly to stop him, but Elderan gently pulled the General back.
“Hello, Big Burpa, it’s been a long time,” Fredrick said with a slight hiss.
At first Big Burpa looked stunned. “If it isn’t Fredrick Hihorss the third, my prize pupil. How did you get here?”
“Them!” Fredrick replied as he pointed towards the rescue party.
Big Burpa looked up right into the eyes of his old Enemy Elderan. Pleezam, Thankoo and Nomora Fibbs didn’t have time to react
“Guards seize those five men in the brown cloaks,” screamed Big Burpa.
Instantly there was chaos. Ignorantees dropped everything they were holding and charged the party. Pleezam, Thankoo and Nomora Fibbs put up a tremendous fight. Fists flew everywhere, but there were just too many Ignorantees. Elderan and General Rossidy just allowed themselves to be captured. Big Burpa approached the captives.
“Don’t even think of spouting any of those foul manner words to me or I’ll stuff a smelly old sock in your mouth,” said Big Burpa with a sneer. “Guards search them and take their portal conjuring devices.”
The guards removed Nomora Fibbs staff, Elderan’s wand and a weakly glowing red rock from General Rossidy.
Big Burpa spoke again, “Did you not think we would expect you to try and rescue your precious King Pardon? You never would have found him, he’s too well hidden, but now you can join him.”
Fredrick yelled towards the rescue party, “You dopes! I told you I couldn’t be changed. Big Burpa trained me many years ago when I was around my sister’s age. They made me what I am today.”
He said the last line with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
“Elderan, what a foolish old man you are,” cackled Big Burpa. “Fredrick was the perfect target. He was rich and famous because of his father’s money. The more he acts out in public the more his name gets in the newspaper. He gets away with it, and other kids see that. They think it’s fine to be a rude, selfish, lying little brat. It brings a tear to me eye to see him turn out so rotten. I’m so proud. He truly is a little creepo! You waited too long to try to change him.”
Fredrick just stood there with his hands firmly in his pocket and pure rage in his stare.
At last Elderan spoke, “Everybody deserves a chance to change. We can only hope that eventually he realizes that more good things will come from being a generous and honest person.”
“Idiot!” screeched Fredrick as he pulled his hands from his pockets and grabbed Elderan by his cloak. “I will continue to do what I want, whenever I want, because I am Fredrick Hihorss the third.”
Fredrick shook Elderan fiercely and then backed away with a disgusted look on his face.
Big Burpa gave a wicked smile. “You’ve done well Fredrick; it couldn’t have turned out more perfect. Guards take these manner loving, truth telling fools to the same jail as their beloved king. They can rot there together.”
“Big Burpa I demand to see my sister now,” yelled Fredrick. “I want to talk to her alone so I can make sure she understands she’s to listen to you and do whatever you say.”
Big Burpa motioned to his guards to take Norah and Fredrick to a private room. He wanted to give Fredrick all the time he needed with his kid sister. Big Burpa knew when Norah grew up she would have just as much influence on other kids in the real world as Fredrick had.
He sat on a chair outside the room and watched his guards clean up after the scuffle with Elderan and his so-called fellow rescuers. Some of them seemed to be searching very hard for something.
About an hour passed and Big Burpa grew impatient with the amount of time Fredrick and his sister had spent in the room. He was just about to fetch them, when one of the guards came running up to Big Burpa.
“Sir, all the prisoners are gone,” said Stinky Stan. The Rock of Self Indulgence has been smashed and our pig stones won’t open any portals.
A dreadful feeling swept over Big Burpa. He ran to the room where Fred and Norah were, but no one was inside.
Big Burpa fell to his knees and yelled the longest loudest ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!’ of all time.
CHAPTER FOUR: THERE’S HOPE FOR US YET
Fredrick was sitting alone in the T.V. room of his father’s mansion reading a magazine. He heard a small noise and looked up. In the corner of the room he saw the walls almost seem to bend and bubble. Suddenly there was a flash of light and he raised his hands to his eyes to shield them. When the light dimmed, Elderan and General Rossidy were standing in front of him.
“I knew I would see you guys soon. I see you got out of Smelly Sock Jail,” said Fredrick knowingly.
“Thanks to you,” said Elderan.
“Me?” Fredrick replied with a half smile on his face.
“You slipped one of the pig stones into my pocket when you shook me. Since the Ignorantees had already searched me you knew they wouldn’t find it. I had realized when you showed yourself to Big Burpa, that the only chance to get to King Pardon was to be put in the same jail as him. Once we were inside the same cell we just conjured a portal and left.”
“I knew it was the only way to save him. I used another stone for my sister and me to escape. When the Ignorantee guards moved to capture you, some of them dropped their stones. I knew I’d have to be quick so I grabbed a couple during the scuffle. I have one question for you though. How did you know I’d help you?”
“I didn’t know for sure, but I had to take a chance. I could see the look in your eyes when your sister came through the portal with Big Burpa,” said Elderan.
“How did you know that was my sister Elderan?” asked Fredrick.
“I had already brought her to Mannerland. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes I made with you.”
Fredrick thought for a moment and started again. “When you took me to Ignorandom this time, I remembered being there when I was very young. The memories came rushing back to me. They let me do whatever I wanted. Gave me treats and let me run wild. When I saw my sister and then later when Big Burpa started telling everyone how proud he was because I was such a bad person, it made me feel angry. I didn’t realize that other people saw me as that bad.”
“You didn’t want your sister to become like you I gather,” replied General Rossidy.
“She’s the only person I think I’ve ever treated well. Something kind of snapped inside me. I didn’t want her to end up like me.”
“I think you still have a long way to go to grow into the great young man you can be,” said Elderan. “Your reasons for saving the king were for your own gain. However, it’s a start.”
General Rossidy spoke again, “Change is already being seen in Mannerland and the Land of Lies. Fewer people need to come to the Land of Me. So, whatever you’re doing it’s already starting to affect the world around you. The power to our worlds is slowly gaining strength. There is more good than bad in the world, but sometimes it doesn’t seem that way. People sometimes just seem to worry about the bad stuff more than they should. Keep that in mind.”
With a flash of light Elderan and General Rossidy were gone. However, trips to Mannerland, The Land of Lies and The Land of Me were not about to end anytime soon.
